Resolutions

I'm of two minds when it comes to New Year's resolutions. One the one hand, having a defining start date and the feeling of a fresh start can be incredibly motivating. It can also offer a shared experience, as many likeminded others will be pursuing the same goals starting at the same time. On the other hand, the days leading up to the New Year are spent practicing the mindset of "I'll do this, just not today." This can lead to problems later on, as the excitement of the new year carries into passing days and weeks. As those weeks pass, the monotony starts to kick in and the "I'll do it, just not today" mindset you'd just practiced can easily creep back in.

Whether it's for the New Year or starting today, developing goals and making a plan to achieve them can really help increase the odds that we act in alignment with the person we want to be. Today I'm going to be sharing a brief step-by-step way to set yourself up for success in reaching your goals.

1. To start, write out a list your priorities. This includes the people, activities, mindset and values that are most important to you. This list shouldn't include things you do daily that you don't care about, but it can include things you care about greatly even if it's rarely present in your life right now. This exercise is meant to help us recognize what truly matters to us, so we can formulate goals based on our values. I strongly encourage you to do this step even if you already have an idea of your goals. Having this list can be really motivating to help us see who we are and how any goal might fit into our larger sense of identity.

2. Once you've developed your list, identify a component of it that you would like to have more of in your life. Really think about WHY you would like more of it in your life. What would that mean for you? What would it mean to your loved ones? What values do you carry that are behind this interest?

3. Next, take the component you selected and turn it into a rough goal. Now take that goal and turn it into a SMART goal.

4. Finally, it's time to make accomplishing this goal as easy as possible:

- Every day, reflect on that larger list of priorities and remember your "why". These will offer motivation and build your sense of identity around your goal, so if your goal is to run more you aren't "trying to run" - you're "a runner". This can help because you will be more likely to act in alignment with this identity and the expectations that go along with that identity.

- Set yourself up for success by practically making things as easy as you can. Put any needed equipment out in advance. Schedule it in your timetable. Recruit a buddy so you have some social accountability. There are lots of ways to make this easier for yourself, so get creative here.

- Plan ahead for the barriers. What might get in the way and how can you problem-solve this before it happens? What story might your mind tell you to talk you out of working towards your goal? Expect there will be tough days and wanes in motivation, especially after the first week, and figure out how you can evoke internal motivation and discipline to make it happen anyways.

5. Finally, the follow-through. Turning the daily grind of the goal into a habit is the priority here, so consistency is key. Remove the opportunity to "opt-out" the day-of and make it a non-negotiable, or else you can bet your immediate self will opt for the comfort of not taking action that day. As the option is taken away and the activity becomes a given, you'll find it gets easier over time to follow through. That said, if something happens and you DO miss a day, consider the next day a fresh start and keep that consistency going. One spoiled day does not spoil the habit, so do not let it become your barrier. After a few weeks, you'll find the effort required to follow through on the day's goals will lessen and it'll become part of the routine. With this routine in place, you'll be marching steadily forward on your goals from there.

Whether you start pursuing your goals today or on New Year's Day, I hope these tips will help you set yourself up for success in building the life you want. If you would like to expand on these concepts further, please consider speaking about them with a therapist.