Comfort Zones

Most of us tend to spend the majority of our time in our comfort zones. They are the activities, environments, and mindsets that we're used to and are drawn towards. These zones help us feel safe, let us relax, allow for opportunities to go on autopilot, they're predictable and they tend to be where we feel most confident. In short, comfort zones are, well, comfortable.

Given the sense of safety they offer, it's understandable why we tend to spend the majority of our time in our comfort zones. But I believe there is more to this story as well. I think one of the reasons we spend so much time there, is because most aspects of our lives are repeated regularly, and that which is repeated regularly gets more comfortable over time (even if it didn't start off that way). If we start doing an activity that feels far beyond our comfort level, every day of doing it helps it move slowly closer and closer into our comfort zone.

Let me give you an example. Say I'm fearful of public speaking but I am starting a new job that requires me to speak in front of audiences every week. The first time I speak in front of an audience, I may be very uncomfortable doing so. The next week, it would get slightly easier, but still feel uncomfortable. But the more I speak in front of those audiences, the easier things get and the more my confidence builds. One day, public speaking would feel far easier and safer than it used to. At that point, public speaking would either be closer to - or maybe even in - my comfort zone.

This process is significant. By choosing our actions based on what we want for our lives rather than what is comfortable, we can shape what feels comfortable for us over time. This means we are not limited by our comfort zones, but rather have opportunities to influence what goes within them!

On top of this, there is a distinct power in pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones as well. Facing one's discomforts can lead to a great deal of growth, as we gain new experiences and perspectives.

This growth is also expressed in how we view ourselves. Going outside of our comfort zones allows us to learn that we can do hard things even when they're uncomfortable. It helps us practice being brave when we face something scary. It helps us recognize we do not have to listen to our emotions if their signals conflict with how we want to live. It let's us regain control over our actions and ensure our actions align with our words and values. In many cases, it also helps us realize the things outside of our comfort zone aren't as bad as we imagined anyway. All of this helps us to build confidence in ourselves and take on new challenges in future.

This process has large implications for those coping with anxiety disorders. By slowly and methodically pushing the comfort zone (with the support of a therapist), individuals can reclaim their lives and weaken anxiety's hold. This also combats the natural tendency to avoid anxiety-inducing situations, which tends to strengthen anxiety's hold and makes the comfort zone smaller and smaller over time. For more on this topic, see my previous post Do One Brave Thing a Day.

I would encourage you to reflect on your own life. What activities, environments, or mindsets feel outside of your comfort zone? Would any of these be beneficial to your well-being or help bring you closer to the life you want for yourself? What's a small step you could take today to push that comfort zone a little?