Do One Brave Thing a Day
It can be exceptionally difficult to face situations that lead to difficult thoughts, feelings, or sensations. These situations might feel like a threat to our sense of physical safety, our social status, or our emotional safety. Our internal responses to these situations are often by nature uncomfortable, unpleasant, and can be felt by both the mind and body. Like a person who avoids a movement that causes pain to the body, it makes sense that we have a tendency to avoid experiences that lead to pain in our minds. In general, this can be very useful in keeping us living a healthy life, and listening to the messages from our thoughts/feelings/sensations is appropriate.
But what if our brains misinterpret something harmless as a threat? What if we learn something is more of a threat than it actually is? What if our brains become overly sensitive to danger, so we have a bunch of "false alarms" in the form of anxiety, panic disorder, a phobia, or obsessive-compulsive disorder?
When this happens, our avoidance tends to perpetuate these fears. When we avoid fear-inducing situations, we never get the chance to prove our brain's alarm response false and we therefore never get to learn from our experience and change our beliefs about the situation. Likewise, if we are consistently striving to avoid a particular emotion within us, we never get to prove to ourselves that we can handle that emotion. This avoidance might take the form of skipping particular situations or environments altogether, or using a coping strategy or ritual as an "internal escape" strategy (these are known as safety behaviours). Often doing this helps deescalate your response in the moment, but perpetuates the underlying fear further because we never get a chance to prove it false.
Over time, avoiding can lead to a chain effect, where the emotion or sensations feels more and more scary and overwhelming. We might become heavily reliant on our safety behaviours when we have to go into uncomfortable scenarios. We also may start to fear the experience of anxiety itself and change our lives to avoid this internal experience. To make matters worse, often avoidance begets avoidance. What this means is that even if we managed to avoid all anxiety-inducing situations, often the anxiety spreads it's attention to new scenarios, shrinking your comfort zone and making life more and more restricted.
The information in this article is based on the research and writings found within the following models: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (concepts of experiential avoidance, committed action) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (inhibitory learning theory, exposure-based treatments).
But what if our brains misinterpret something harmless as a threat? What if we learn something is more of a threat than it actually is? What if our brains become overly sensitive to danger, so we have a bunch of "false alarms" in the form of anxiety, panic disorder, a phobia, or obsessive-compulsive disorder?
When this happens, our avoidance tends to perpetuate these fears. When we avoid fear-inducing situations, we never get the chance to prove our brain's alarm response false and we therefore never get to learn from our experience and change our beliefs about the situation. Likewise, if we are consistently striving to avoid a particular emotion within us, we never get to prove to ourselves that we can handle that emotion. This avoidance might take the form of skipping particular situations or environments altogether, or using a coping strategy or ritual as an "internal escape" strategy (these are known as safety behaviours). Often doing this helps deescalate your response in the moment, but perpetuates the underlying fear further because we never get a chance to prove it false.
Over time, avoiding can lead to a chain effect, where the emotion or sensations feels more and more scary and overwhelming. We might become heavily reliant on our safety behaviours when we have to go into uncomfortable scenarios. We also may start to fear the experience of anxiety itself and change our lives to avoid this internal experience. To make matters worse, often avoidance begets avoidance. What this means is that even if we managed to avoid all anxiety-inducing situations, often the anxiety spreads it's attention to new scenarios, shrinking your comfort zone and making life more and more restricted.
That's the bad news. The good news is this can absolutely be changed by facing what we've been avoiding.
Now before you throw yourself into a highly scary, highly risky scenario, don't. To do this would be likely overwhelming and might strengthen the belief of how horrible or difficult the experience is. As with most things in life, it's far wiser and more effective to begin with baby steps and work your way up to the harder experiences.
I would strongly suggest you do this in collaboration with your therapist, so you can ensure you are approaching your specific situation appropriately and safely, with support, and at an appropriate pace. With your therapist, you can slowly begin proving your "false alarms" as false. This might be done by exposing yourself to particular sensations or scenarios (imagined or in-person) during sessions, along with practicing exposure between sessions. At the same time, through discussion and reflection your brain and/or body will begin to learn that your initial expectations were inaccurate and that these situations are in fact manageable. You'll also learn through experience that no emotion or sensation lasts forever, as you'll be giving yourself the chance to watch it go down on its own.
Now before you throw yourself into a highly scary, highly risky scenario, don't. To do this would be likely overwhelming and might strengthen the belief of how horrible or difficult the experience is. As with most things in life, it's far wiser and more effective to begin with baby steps and work your way up to the harder experiences.
I would strongly suggest you do this in collaboration with your therapist, so you can ensure you are approaching your specific situation appropriately and safely, with support, and at an appropriate pace. With your therapist, you can slowly begin proving your "false alarms" as false. This might be done by exposing yourself to particular sensations or scenarios (imagined or in-person) during sessions, along with practicing exposure between sessions. At the same time, through discussion and reflection your brain and/or body will begin to learn that your initial expectations were inaccurate and that these situations are in fact manageable. You'll also learn through experience that no emotion or sensation lasts forever, as you'll be giving yourself the chance to watch it go down on its own.
If you are waiting for your next appointment with your therapist, are in the process of finding a therapist, or feel for whatever reason that therapy is not possible for you right now, that doesn't mean you can't start making some changes. To quote my wonderful supervisor, a great place to start would be to "do one brave thing a day."
You would want the brave activity to be a step outside of your comfort zone, sparking some anxiety but not so much that it becomes strong or overwhelming (remember: baby steps). Of course, only practice an activity that you know would not evoke the same anxious response in most others, and do not engage in any activities that may be unsafe. While you do this, do your best to avoid using your typical safety behaviours as you do the brave thing, because the goal is to prove to yourself that you CAN have the experience and get through any unpleasantness that arises. After doing the brave thing, reflect on what you expected would happen, what actually happened, and what you learned from the experience.
You would want the brave activity to be a step outside of your comfort zone, sparking some anxiety but not so much that it becomes strong or overwhelming (remember: baby steps). Of course, only practice an activity that you know would not evoke the same anxious response in most others, and do not engage in any activities that may be unsafe. While you do this, do your best to avoid using your typical safety behaviours as you do the brave thing, because the goal is to prove to yourself that you CAN have the experience and get through any unpleasantness that arises. After doing the brave thing, reflect on what you expected would happen, what actually happened, and what you learned from the experience.
As the name suggests, stepping outside of your comfort zone isn't comfortable. But it's a proven strategy that will over time expand your comfort zone and will help you take back control of your life. Again, if at all possible, please do this in collaboration with your therapist - it will greatly increase the chances of this practice being done safely and with success. Until then, reflect on small opportunities over your week where you can practice doing one brave thing each day.
The information in this article is based on the research and writings found within the following models: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (concepts of experiential avoidance, committed action) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (inhibitory learning theory, exposure-based treatments).