Taking Responsibility

You've probably heard the Spider-Man quote "with great power comes great responsibility." But in real life, taking responsibility can be tough. It isn't comfortable to accept our mistakes or the consequences of our actions; sometimes it can feel like others are being "let off the hook" from their behaviour if we focus on ours; it might mean we have to make difficult changes in our lives; it also means we have to recognize and accept the power we have. However, as adults we are ultimately responsible for our own well-being and it is through this belief that I suggest it is time to accept that responsibility and own the power we have over our lives.

Too many of us have experienced hardships we didn't deserve or grown into circumstances that might leave us disadvantaged in some way. Perhaps we didn't have the emotional, societal, or financial support we saw others have. These are explanations as to why things may have been challenging in the past and they may have contributed to who you have grown to be in present circumstances. They may have influenced the ways we treat ourselves and others. They may have also negatively contributed to mental or physical health concerns that continue today. All of this can be true, yet it does not negate the fact that we must be responsible for ourselves if we want a better tomorrow.

What does it mean to take responsibility? Well, in the context of this writing, it refers to taking responsibility for our own well-being. It also means taking ownership of our actions (or lack thereof) and doing what we can in the circumstances we are in to improve our situation. It's about acting on our values and being the best version of ourselves that we can - regardless of our circumstances. It's about owning our ability to take control over what we have control over.

I recognize this is not an easy ask, especially if we've been taught over the years that we do not have any power, or that holding others responsible for our situation helps alleviate painful emotions. Again, this isn't to say we were all given an equal and fair shake growing up and it does not negate that fact that we may have lived through painful or limiting experiences that were outside of our control. But when it comes down to it, we have to live our current lives with our current circumstances and taking responsibility for them is our way forward. We ultimately have control over our daily actions, and for aspects of our thoughts/feelings/actions that feel out of control right now, we have control over the decision to seek help to change that. 

Making this shift means owning our power. Despite any experiences of powerlessness or loss of control we experienced in the past, most of us do have the power to make decisions about how we spend our day. I encourage you to recognize and own that power, because it shifts our identities from one of victimization to one of self-empowerment, from reacting to acting, and from life happening to us to intentionally choosing our life. This can also be known as shifting from an external locus of control to an internal locus of control.

We could choose to practice self-care, learn mindfulness, treat others with kindness and respect, treat ourselves with kindness and respect, work hard in school and work, cultivate positive friendships, and access resources to shift our mindsets to better serve us in these ventures, but we have to make that choice. Nobody can make it for us. There's our power and our responsibility.