It's Not Just Me

Too often we feel alone and isolated in our struggles. We think we're the only ones with such odd thoughts, difficult emotions, and strange habits. We often think others wouldn't understand or we fear burdening them, so we tend to tuck away those unique, random, and sometimes painful aspects of ourselves. Unfortunately, this leaves us feeling even more strange and alone.

In reality, many of our painful experiences are not necessarily unique. All of us have experienced sadness and other painful emotions, and according to CMHA* "In any given year, 1 in 5 people in Canada will personally experience a mental health problem or illness." Given these statistics, it's remarkable how often we make sense of our suffering as something being uniquely wrong with us.

I believe there is great value in emphasizing to ourselves and others that we are not alone in our struggles, whether we are experiencing emotional pain or a specific mental health disorder. To acknowledge that suffering is part of the human condition is to destigmatize our suffering when it occurs. It does not make us "abnormal" but rather, a human being, responding to a challenge in a human way. I truly believe that if a person's emotions, thoughts, or actions don't make sense, then we aren't looking into the context of their previous experiences deeply enough.

Furthermore, it can be valuable to identify such shared experiences through the larger context of one's society. This is an important idea I intend to expand upon in a future article, but for now suffice it to say, if a large number of people are experiencing the same ongoing hardships and pain, it may be an indicator that something needs to be changed from a larger structural standpoint in that society.

This post is in no way meant to minimize an individual's difficulties with mental health disorders or emotional pain. The fact that others may experience similarities in their suffering does not negate how real, painful, and difficult that suffering is. It also does not negate the individual's responsibility to care for their own well-being in however is most appropriate for them. However, this post is meant to emphasize how we can show ourselves compassion for experiencing whatever we are experiencing as human beings, and take comfort in the knowledge that we are not alone in this struggle. It's also a reminder that we can learn from and support one another rather than judge and isolate ourselves during difficult times.

By sharing our own experiences of hardship, we are suggesting to others that it's okay for them to share theirs. Removing stigma from a person's struggles minimizes the secondary pain that comes from labelling themselves as "abnormal" or "alone." Replacing self-critical judgements with thoughts of "it's not just me" can offer a sense of relief and acceptance of their experience, which can help a person through that struggle and out the other side.


*https://cmha.ca/fast-facts-about-mental-illness