Simple Isn't Easy

As a therapist, I often make suggestions to my clients that come across as simple at first glance. Maybe it's "establish a regular eating routine" or "go do that thing you want to do but haven't" or "talk to yourself with compassion." Regardless of the suggestions, there is an important underlying theme here: these things may be simple to describe, but they certainly aren't easy to do.

If someone comes in for an appointment, one can assume there is something in their lives that they want to work on. They may be looking for a change in their actions, perspective, or emotional pain. Very often, the "simple" suggestions that aim to address a client's concerns fly in the face of what the client has habitually been doing for years.

It helps as a therapist to explain the research and rationalle before offering such suggestions, as the client can then understand why these changes are helpful. This might also help motivate them to try some of these suggestions out, and know with confidence that there's a purpose behind the short-term discomfort changes often bring.

But to follow these suggestions not only requires breaking longstanding habits, but also the task of overcoming the emotional challenges that may have created these habits in the first place. Often unhelpful habits are coping strategies to avoid unpleasant emotions, and to remove these habits can be a scary process. It also takes a great deal of practice to make a lasting change in our lives. This is why addressing these suggestions often is best done in baby steps, over time and with support. Your therapist can support you in making these changes one day at a time, and offer extra tools to make the process more manageable.
 
I want to acknowledge to those of you who are pursuing therapy that these changes that are asked of you aren't easy. It takes perseverence, strength, and bravery to make changes, regardless how "simple" they appear to an outsider. This is a reminder to give yourself credit for the work you are putting in and to be gentle and patient with yourself throughout any change process. Finally, I hope it is motivating to know that the more you practice, the easier these new habits will become.