Ongoing: Making Friends as an Adult - Resources and Opportunities
Making friends as an adult is tough. In school, it can be so easy to meet others during classes, during school spirit events, in school clubs and teams, or even during lunch breaks. But when we've finished school and entered the world of work, many of those previous opportunities to meet others are no longer available. Despite being more connected online than ever, in reality many people have become increasingly disconnected from each other. Put the pandemic on top of it all and it's amounted to a lot of people wanting to meet new friends and not being sure how.
To help ease the process, I've compiled an ongoing list of ways you might be able to meet other people. This list is specific to the area where I reside in Kingston, Ontario, but many of the same or similar resources are available across Canada.
Please note that I'll do my best to keep these resources updated, but since events and organizations change over time, be sure to confirm the details and relevancy for yourself before pursuing any of these. Also, keep in mind that it can take a bit of time for people to get to know each other, so take the pressure off yourself to meet people right away. It's often through consistency of seeing the same friendly faces that you'll get to know others and turn strangers into friends.
Creativity and Games Groups
Nexus: Nexus is a games and comic book store that offers regular social events including games night, a paint club (to paint miniatures) and nights dedicated to specific games as well. I got in touch with Nexus about what one could expect during the games nights and they responded that "It is a very kind and welcoming community, it is quite common for folks to invite others into their group as well as allow them to join in if they ask! I find folks almost always find some group to play with. We have a regular one on Tuesday nights from 6 until 9pm, as well the last Thursday of the month we host a LGBT+ focused group which is also a fantastic opportunity to meet new folks and make friendships!"
Minotaur: A creative store with an emphasis on board games, Minotaur offers events including games nights and art shows.
Tie One On Creativity Bar: This bar/cafe/restaurant offers various creative workshops and events that are specifically designed for adults
Kingston School of Art: Offers a variety of art-focused workshops, classes and events.
Tett Centre: Runs lots of events and workshops, including monthly "Tett Tuesdays" which are an open studio event that provides a space for "creativity, conversation, and connection."
Purlin' J's: A knitting and crochet shop that offers workshops, groups and events.
4Cats: A sweet art shop that offers workshops and classes.
Fitness Groups
Kingston Sports and Social Club: This club provides a wide range of sports activities you can participate in. During registration you can register as an individual, as they'll put you on a team with other individuals also looking for teammates. They also offer mixers and classes that vary from skiing to forest therapy walks.
Kingston Club - This club has different group hiking opportunities, varying in intensity from day-hikes to more intensive weekend hikes.
Runner's Choice: Offers running groups that run nearly every day of the week.
The Running Room: Offers running and walking groups each week.
City of Kingston - Recreation Programs : The city of Kingston organizes recreational sports programs and drop-in programs. The group classes or team sports could offer great opportunities to meet others.
Fitness Classes: There's a huge range of fitness classes you can try out, ranging from yoga, spin, martial arts, Pilates, etc. Due to the vast number of gyms and studios offering these classes, I will not provide a specific link. However, if any of these classes interest you, they are usually easy to find and could provide a great way to begin seeing the same friendly faces each week.
5678 Dance Studio: This dance studio offers dance classes for adults of all skill levels.
Kingston School of Dance: This dance studio offers dance classes for adults of all skill levels.
Kingston Climbing Club: This club provides various opportunities to build your skills and connect with others who love to rock climb.
Boiler Room Kingston: This rock-climbing gym offers a variety of climbing technique courses and antagonist training programs for all skill levels.
Mental Health Groups
Addiction and Mental Health Services: Runs a variety of groups, from more specific support groups to the more unstructured "coffee and connect" group.
Other Opportunities to Connect
Meetup: This website is entirely devoted to giving people online and in-person opportunities to connect with others. The groups vary greatly, so it can be easy to find one that connects with your interests and meet like-minded individuals.
Loving Spoonful Community Kitchens: Among other community involvement initiatives, Loving Spoonful offers Open Kitchen drop-in cooking workshops.
The Gloss Book Club: A book club for women that meets monthly to discuss the book chosen for the month.
Kingston Frontenac Public Library: Offers a myriad of events and workshops for all ages
Young Professionals of Kingston: Runs regular events where young professionals can network and meet like-minded individuals.
Faith-Based Communities: There are a wide variety of supportive faith-based communities where you can regularly connect with others in various ways. Due to the variety and personal nature of these communities I am not providing specific links or referral locations, but these can be valuable sources of community as well and are hopefully relatively easy to find.
Volunteer: There are a variety of ways you can connect with others in your community through volunteering. Whether this is volunteering at Martha's Table, the Red Cross, Sustainable Kingston, or by supporting your local political party, there are lots of opportunities to meet like-minded others while also making a positive difference in your community.
Social Media: Sometimes there can be helpful local groups where people are seeking to connect with others or find ideas how to do so. Whether it's through Facebook, Reddit, or another social media platform, consider exploring the local online presence and see what opportunities you can find!
Helpful Extras:
How to Win Friends and Influence People: This book is full of helpful tips to ensure interpersonal skills will help you connect with those around you.
The Saavy Psychologist Podcast, Episode 204: This podcast episode offers helpful information on how to make friends as an adult in a direct and practical way.
Psychology Today: If you feel like you may be getting in your own way with making friends, it may be worth connecting with a therapist to explore this further. Whether it's social anxiety, discomfort with being vulnerable, lack of patience towards others, or another barrier, it can be helpful in therapy to discuss these challenges in a safe atmosphere so you can develop new approaches. Also, although the client-therapist relationship differs from a typical friendship (therapists cannot ethically be friends with their clients), the therapeutic relationship has it's own kind of connection where you can be truly open with another person and receive support. Therapy also provides a wonderful opportunity to experiment with new ways of interacting with another person (your therapist) in a safe environment.