Measuring Success

When you think of someone successful, what do you picture?

You might imagine the hot shot professional driving an expensive car. Perhaps you think of someone accomplishing the steps often portrayed in the media of getting a well-paying job, buying a nice house, getting married, having children, etc. You might think of celebrities, professional athletes or well-known leaders in a field.

What else might success entail? Perhaps social recognition within a community, or positions of power, or respect from others, or how many goals you reach each year, or a sense of satisfaction with one's accomplishments. I'm sure you can come up with other ideas here too.

There's nothing wrong with any of these definitions of success. If a person finds those definitions motivating and consistent with their values, that's wonderful and they should stay the course. But I do want to point out another consideration when measuring success... none of those descriptions inherently include a sense of satisfaction or happiness with one's life. After all, many of them are centered around high financial income, and studies have shown that after financial security and basic needs are met, money does not significantly improve a person's daily happiness.

Our pursuit of success (as we define it) can lead us to a lifetime of contentment or a lifetime of stress. How we measure success in our own lives can impact how we make decisions, how we view others, and of course, how we view ourselves. To further explore your personal views on success and how these views impact your life, I've compiled a list of questions to help you reflect:

- How do you define success? Has that definition been consistent throughout your life or has it changed over time?

- How does your family define success? Your friends? Your partner? The larger community? The media? How might that have impacted your definition? 

- Do you currently feel successful? What factors did you consider when you answered that question?

- In order to reach success as you define it, what would you need to prioritize in your day? In turn, what would need to be deprioritized?

- Does the lifestyle you'd need to live in order to reach this success align with the person you want to be? Does it align with how you'd hope your loved ones would describe you?

- Does your definition of success resonate with what's really important to you? Does it connect with what you truly want out of life?

- What are the benefits of pursuing your definition of success?

- What would you have to sacrifice to reach your definition of success?

- Do you hold yourself to different standards than others when you measure success?

- If you won the lottery today, would you consider your life a success? Why or why not? If anything, what else would you want to have in your life to consider it a success in your eyes?

- What type of success do you hope for your loved ones? Is it the same as your own definition or different?

- How much control do you have over reaching your definition of success?

- How has that definition worked for you so far? Has it been motivating for you, lead you to feel hopeless, or something in between? 

- How do you want to measure success in your life moving forward? Will it be more or less aligned with how success is often viewed by those around you?

I hope these questions can help you build insight and intentionality with how you define and pursue success in your own life. There's no right or wrong answers here, the point is to identify what definition makes sense for you and the life that you want to build.

If you would like to explore these ideas further, please consider speaking with a therapist.