The Cycle of: Social Anxiety

In this post I'm going to be discussing the cycle of thoughts and behaviours that tend to perpetuate social anxiety. Social anxiety entails intense fear occurring when anticipating or during social situations. It tends to be connected to concerns of being observed or judged by others. As social anxiety increases in severity and is left unchecked, it can sometimes lead to significant impairment in daily functioning. This disorder, also known as social phobia, is one of the more common anxiety disorders in America.

Social anxiety may arise from negative social experiences, a lack of recent positive social experiences (pandemic lockdowns for example), or from learned messages from others that other people are likely judging us. Dr. Russ Harris also discusses in this video (at 1:40) how we're evolutionarily programmed to be concerned with social acceptance (among other forms of anxious worrying) for the sake of survival. These factors may combine with genetic predisposition and life stressors to trigger social anxiety, which often (though not always) begins in the teenage years.

Whatever the reason it may start for an individual, social anxiety may build over time through a self-perpetuating cycle. Thoughts such as "I'm uninteresting" and "I cannot cope" before a social interaction, coupled with thoughts such as "I look stupid" during the interaction, can lead to physical responses like blushing, dry throat, and other anxious symptoms. Due to these symptoms and thoughts, people naturally try to protect themselves (called safety behaviours) to alleviate the feelings of anxiety by doing things like avoiding eye contact, pulling out their phones, disengaging from conversations, or simply avoiding the situation entirely. Unfortunately none of these actions are pro-social behaviours, thus increasingly the likelihood the social interaction wasn't great and feeding those thoughts of "I'm uninteresting; I looked stupid; I can't handle social situations." Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Once you've felt the relief of avoiding or escaping from the social interaction, the fact that you survived the event will be registered by your brain as "okay, this worked" thus leading you to continue having these thoughts, physical symptoms, and safety behaviours for next time. The social anxiety is thus reinforced as being a way to survive and the cycle starts again even stronger with the next social opportunity.

A great visual of this cycle can be found below (developed by Barends Psychology Practice, 2015).

Fortunately, social anxiety can be managed and treated. With the support from a therapist, an individual with social anxiety can learn to manage their thinking and physical symptoms (using cognitive therapy, mindfulness practices, etc.) and practice gradually exposing themselves to social situations without using their safety behaviours (called exposure therapy). The individual learns they can tolerate anxious thoughts and symptoms as they arise, shift their thinking to build confidence in their social abilities, and increase their prosocial behaviours and enjoyment of socializing in the process. As they continue to build these skills and experience positive social interactions, the social anxiety cycle breaks down and the symptoms reduce.

If you find you are engaging in the above social anxiety cycle, please consider seeking support and guidance from a therapist.