Change is Like a Marathon
It can be common for someone first starting therapy to hope or expect quick changes to one's life. After all, we have those experiences when we see other practitioners - whether it be a dentist removing a hurting tooth or a doctor prescribing antibiotics to resolve an infection. But therapy tends to function a bit differently. This is because changes within ourselves tend to function a bit differently too.
We often spend years developing certain thought habits and ways of living and functioning. Much of what we learn from childhood tends to carry over into adulthood through such habits and understandings. Every time we practice thinking or acting a certain way, they become further solidified into our patterns of how to live in the world. What we practice is what gets stronger.
To be clear, this doesn't mean we are doomed to continue living the habits we currently have. If what we practice is what gets stronger, then every time we try something new we are strengthing that new approach. It just means it can take some time to change these habits. If we want to make changes to any of those realms, we need to train our brains and bodies to act differently. This process can often entail slow and steady changes through intentional practicing.
Once you've built awareness of what patterns you are seeking to change, implementing these changes depends on your unique situation. It could entail focusing on changing your perspective, your actions, your understanding, your coping strategies, your self-talk, or a number of other aspects of your life. It could be addressed independently, though the support of a therapist could make the process much easier. But regardless of how you approach it, in the majority of cases it will not be an overnight change.
It will not be a quick sprint from start to finish, ending with a gold medal and a small sweat. It will require intentional training, much like a marathon requires training. To build up the muscles and endurance takes time and it is essential to ensure regular practice. Without it, the effects won't last and the habits won't change. It's a longer slower pace towards these changes than many of us would like. But in the process, you'll notice the new habits will start to get easier and those past habits will weaken. With time and intentional effort, you can retrain your brain.
So on those hard training days when you are working towards a change and feel like there's no end in sight, be gentle on yourself, stay persistent, and remember - change is like a marathon, not a sprint.